There is no high/low
Sex therapists never use the terms high and low libido. We know that libido is much more complex than just an inbuilt switch set a high or low. Libido is dependent on how good the sex is, your age/gender/stress levels, the context in which you’re experiencing sexual stimuli, and whether you are a slow burn vs fast ignition type. In sex therapy we can explore the concept of desire with you more comprehensively, using the newest research in sex therapy.
It's ok to not have a ‘sex drive’
Thank goodness everyone isn’t out there ready to have sex at every possible moment. Nothing would get done in this world! It’s entirely possible to have little interest in sex… and still have fabulous sex. Your so called ‘sex drive’, does not impact the quality of sex you can have. Expecting yourself to feel like a horny teenager can create unrealistic expectations and blind you to great opportunities for excellent sex. Sex therapy can support you to explore what your desire for sex really looks like, how to harness it.
Context is everything
Feeling sexual is really dependent on the context. How sexual we feel is highly influenced by the context and environment in which we are operating. Clients often label themselves as having a ‘low libido’, but when we zoom out to the bigger picture, we often find that the context in which they’re trying to be sexual really prohibits sex. It’s like trying to be sexy when you’re stressed to the max, haven’t slept well, are fighting with your partner, and they make the moves on you when the kids are awake in the room next to you. No matter how sexual a person you are, the conditions for sex are not going to spark your fire. Sex therapy can support you to explore what sexual contexts support your sensuality and active engagement.
If you’re struggling to find your libido, or match with your partner, book in for sex therapy, we can support you to maximise your opportunities for sexual encounters and pleasure.