top of page

Is your partner jealous and do you need couples therapy counselling?

Here are some telltale signs that your partner is jealous of you and that you likely need couples therapy counselling. Our couples counsellors spill their top signs of jealousy and how these behaviours impact relationships.

False compliments – telling you you’re attractive, with a tinge of fakery. If your partner is jealous, they may sing your praise without fully feeling it. If your partner isn't giving you the support you need, couples counselling may help.

Negative critique veiled as support – criticising your looks in a way that’s designed to reduce your attractiveness. ‘oh you’re going to wear THAT skirt’ – for a skirt that’s short and shows off your legs for example. A partner that’s jealous may find ways to manipulate you to minimise your own attractiveness. They may pick holes in things you feel fabulous in, in order to undermine your confidence and bring you down a notch. If your partner is constantly criticising you we definitely suggest couples counselling.

Constant comparison – a jealous partner will always compare your looks, your sexual attractiveness to their own. ‘you always get more attention at parties than I do.’ They may put themselves down at your expense, ‘You’re the looks in the relationship.’ ‘I’m the Danny DeVito to your Schwarzenegger’. They may put you on an uncomfortable pedestal that may make you feel self-conscious and wanting to jump down. Feeling constantly compared is exhausting, you can reach out to couples therapy counselling for support.

Constant undermining and false compliments can feel a little like gaslighting behaviour where you’re blamed for their insecurity. They might say, ‘I wouldn’t feel so bad if you didn’t show off your body like that when we go out.’ Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and can really undermine equality and safety within a relationship.

Jealousy and insecurity can undermine your own confidence and lead you to become a lesser version of themselves for the sake of the relationship. Healthy relationships should encourage each person to become their best selves.

If you're the jealous one - Tell your partner you’re struggling with self-confidence and take responsibility for working on your insecurities. Ask yourself why you desperately need external validation for your own self-worth (we all do!) and try to find that validation within.

A good therapist and couples therapy counselling or sex therapy can support you to explore the root causes of your insecurities and support you to develop a healthier and more comfortable relationship with yourself.


Commenting has been turned off.
bottom of page