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Why don't I want sex? Online Sex therapy can help.

Many clients attend online sex therapy with one big question - why don't I want sex? Our sex therapists have outlined key reasons why you may be experiencing a lack of desire for sex.


You are willing, but not ready for sex


You may really want to want sex with your partner, but your readiness to engage in sex with them may not match your interest. Your body and your brain can be really out of sync when it comes to sex. You may be thinking one thing, but your body may need more time, arousal and readiness to engage physically in sex. Your partner may be more ready for sex than you are, leaving you feeling like you’re playing catch up or pushing yourself to progress sexually when you’re not ready. It’s ok for our sexual speeds to be different. Some people get hungry faster after a meal than others. But we wouldn’t make that person eat a full meal when they haven’t worked up an appetite. Online sex therapy can support you to explore how you understand your own sexual appetite and what turns on to be ready for sex.


The sex you’re having isn’t pleasurable enough


It’s a hard one, hard truth time – perhaps the sex you’re having isn’t pleasurable enough for you to want to have it again. We know from research on sex that the biggest motivator for sex is how good the sex is – how much pleasure we have through the sex. If the sex isn’t great, then the motivation to want it is absolutely going to drop.


You don’t know what you or your partner/s enjoy sexually


When was the last time you talked with your partner about what you actually enjoy sexually? When was the last time you explored what you liked or asked for it from a lover? Knowing what feels good takes time, knowledge, and practice – sex therapy can support you go gain better mastery over your sexual needs and wants, and support you to communicate these with your partner for more satisfying sex.


Not feeling like sex is more common than you’d think, and very workable in sex therapy sessions. If you’re feeling disconnected from your sexual desires, reach out and one of our sex therapists can help you answer this question.

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