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Why do people cheat?

For many people the experience of cheating or infidelity feels like the end of a relationship. The experience cuts deep into the trust and connection and initially feels irreparable. The shock, pain, and intensity of finding out that your partner is cheating is traumatic. The person who cheated is often struck with pain, shame and grief.

You can improve your relationship after an affair. Cheating doesn’t always have to be the end of a relationship.

Society tells us we shouldn’t accept a partner back after they’ve betrayed us, and for some situations the relationship is definitely irreparable. BUT if you want to work on the relationship, have a lot invested, still on some level love your partner – you can recover. You can actually create a stronger relationship after an affair. This is where relationship and couple counselling comes in. We can support you to bring back the trust, intimacy and connection after an affair. We do this by working on the main reasons why people cheat in the first place.

Emotional unavailability – one partner is usually too busy or distracted to be there for the other partner. This can happen after the birth of children, a busy career focus, mental health challenges, or just life getting in the way of your time with your partner. When one person is simply not able to give, whether through their own choice, or their circumstances – this can create a distance in the partnership, and the desire to look elsewhere for emotional support.

Physical unavailability – one partner is not willing to engage in any kind of physical affection, whether that’s because the sex or intimacy isn’t working, their needs have changed or they’re angry at the other partner. Disconnecting physically, and we don’t just mean sexually, can create a real wedge and shift the relationship to a pseudo friendship calling its meaning into question.

Communication breakdowns and conflict – perhaps you’ve never communicated properly, perhaps the conversations have become less of a focus. Couples that don’t talk about the problems, lock them away. Unresolved problems create distance, leaving partners feeling like nothing will change. Couples always in conflict are likewise more likely to find comfort in a safer, easier relationship.

If you’re experiencing on of these key drivers – we can support you. We can enable you to repair what’s broken, and perhaps even strengthen what was there in the first place

Cheating doesn't have to be the end. You have the right to decide when you’re done, but if you’re not done – we are here to help.


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