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Why can't we stop fighting? Couples in conflict

Are you stuck in a poor conflict cycle with your husband/wife, partner, loved ones? Do your arguments go nowhere, leave you feeling drained, exhausted, misunderstood and like you’re not being heard?

‘We just can’t stop fighting’ – is something we hear a lot at Love Therapy Australia. Couples get into poor conflict cycles and they get stuck. Once we have formed a habit it’s really hard to break. What we know about families and relationships is the patterns we form are generally quite stable over time. So if you’re the fiery one, and they close up – it’s likely to stay that way. Unless, you change the dynamic – and we can help with that.

Gottman and Gottman, leading therapists in couple counselling, found that 69% of couple fights are unsolvable. (69%! great number they found right ;)) That means the majority of what you’re fighting about, you won’t agree. So why do we spend so much energy in a 'tit for tat' with the person we love the most? No one wins when we fight poorly. In fact the relationship loses. Because we haven’t taken a step back to stop, reflect, identify and repair the conflict cycle.

You can have healthy fights. It is possible to have conflict with your partner and resolve things. With couple counselling, we can explore your unhealthy conflict patterns and support you both to better communicate through the tough times, feel heard, create connection and resolve your differences.


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