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Tips to make couples counselling work

The big question many couples have coming into couples counselling is; does it work?! We know the answer is; YES! But we also know that you can improve your chances of a great therapeutic outcomes.

Couples counselling can be highly effective, but to get the most out of the sessions we recommend you explore these simple tips to improve your chances of relationship success.

Try to change yourself, not your partner

Couples that achieve long-lasting change out of couples counselling always look at what is in their power to change, and they change it. The big trap for couples counselling is to try to focus on what your partner does wrong and desperately plead for them to change. We can only change ourselves. When you change yourself and look at your own behaviour, this encourages your partner to do the same, it relieves you from the blame game and starts actual improvements.

Give them the benefit of the doubt

Most people that attend couples counselling genuinely want to improve their relationship and are giving the experience their time, attention and effort. It helps for couples to try to see the positive work that their partner is doing toward improving the relationship. We can get stuck in the negative and the past, and completely miss the fact that they’re trying now, making an effort (though perhaps missing the mark a little bit). Try to assume that your partner wants it to improve just as much as you, and they’re learning the right way to achieve this.

Reflect, practice, take action

In couples counselling we get you for just under an hour, in which we will support you to really unpack the challenges and give you tools to improve these aspects. To get the most out of couples counselling you need to spend time outside of the counselling room reflecting on the content of the sessions, reviewing your own behaviour, and actively taking the steps toward improving your relationship. Little steps evolve over time to big changes, but you need to make that start in your real life in order to have everything you learn apply long-term

If you’re struggling to see change or you want a more practical approach to repairing your relationship, please reach out to us, we are experts at couples counselling and we want you to be able to have tools to support you once the sessions end and you step back into your real life.


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