Tips for how to maintain erections during sex

Erectile dysfunction, performance anxiety and erectile difficulties are incredibly common and something we work with often during sex therapy sessions. Gaining and maintaining an erection can be a really difficult task during partnered sex. Usually, clients will have no difficulty with erections alone, but when it comes to partnered sex, the challenge appears.

First step - Rule out any physical problems

Most clients don’t have any physical problems at all – there’s absolutely nothing wrong with their penis – but we do want to rule out any physical problems. A great indicator is if you’re experiencing morning/night erections. If you’re able to maintain erections in other areas of your life then there’s likely a mental, rather than physical cause to your challenges. We also recommend seeing your doctor for blood pressure tests, potentially testosterone levels and anything else your doctor recommends.

Manage your mind

Often, we see clients that are struggling to maintain an erection, and then performance anxiety creates a feedback loop where they are then unable to reach an erection to start with. The mind plays a huge role in erectile capacity. If the mind is anxious, the body will be tense. When the body is tense, erections are difficult to achieve. Managing your mind and thoughts is key to sustaining erectile capacity. Being able to focus, calm and relax your mind are vital sexual pleasure skills we can support you to have.

Focus on your pleasure

If you’re starting to feel like you’re losing your erection, your mind is probably starting the worry feedback loop. Try to slow the mind and lean into pleasurable sensations. Don’t rush yourself to do anything you’re not ready to do and don’t force it if it’s not feeling good. If you’re feeling pleasure, you’re likely relaxing, when you’re relaxing, you’re enabling your body to flow into an aroused state.  

These are just three top tips, pun intended, to support you to sustain better erections. If you or your partner needs more support, our Sex Therapists can help.