Sex Therapy – what to expect first session

Sex therapy supports couples and individuals to explore their sexual self-identities. Sex Therapy can be a fabulous tool to re-connect to your sexual desire, repair mismatched libido, and to explore what sex means to you. Many people ask us – what happens in a sex therapy session? We asked one of our Sex Therapists to demystify the online sex therapy process.

What can I tell a Sex Therapist?

First up – there’s not a lot we haven’t heard in our work – there is nothing that will shock us or bore us. You are safe to share all your sexual predilections with your sex therapist, we draw a line at illegal practices though. If it's legal and it's sexual - we are here for it. We will always give you permission to share whatever you’re comfortable with but also know it can take a while to build up comfort with your sex therapist. We are totally ok if you want to email us after session, or discuss further down the road, or take a question on notice for another time. No compulsory questions we say – this is your session.

How do I prepare for my first Sex Therapy session?

It helps if you think about your early experiences with sexual themes or active engagement with sex. Explore too what the challenges are and what your partner believes is the difficulty. It helps to prepare your goals and what you want to achieve through therapy. Aside from that - nothing else to prepare.

What do you cover in the first session?

We usually start with exploring your sexual health history – and this isn’t just your active sexual history, we go back through to when you first learned that sex was a thing that existed. We aren’t looking for problems, specific trauma or anything Freudian. We are simply guiding you to discover what sex means to you and how this has changed through the course of your lifetime. We also explore the challenges - what you're facing now in your sex life, and other aspects that contribute - general mental health, your background and upbringing. The background and case formulation phase can take a couple of sessions to complete. First we must explore in detail what's happening - so that we can prepare a tailored intervention to support your needs.

What kinds of questions do you ask us in online Sex Therapy?

We will then usually explore your sexual orientation, interests and curiosities. We ask you whether you have experienced any pleasure, pain or discomfort and may explore this more with you. Yes you can ask us questions too - feel free to bring some.

Will my partner be there when I share about my sexual history?

Partners can gain great insight in understanding where you come from sexually and your sexual story. We understand though that sharing in front of your partner can be challenging, so individual sessions to explore your sexual history can be made available.

Will my Sex Therapist be open to discussing my orientation/kink/fetish?

All our sex therapists are LGTBIQA+ inclusive and kink/BDSM affirming.

Do I have to discuss my sexual trauma history in detail?

We are trauma informed and aware – and if you have sexual trauma or parts of your history you don’t want to discuss we will absolutely respect that. You don’t have to re-live the details of your trauma for us to support you with how it shows up today. If you would like to explore this in detail, we can absolutely hold space for that -  this is 100% client led and your choice.

Will there be touching/showing?

No. We are 100% talk-based counselling, there are no physical examinations or demonstrations. We may give you exercises that involve you touching yourself, but this will be done in the privacy of your space and never during session.

If you have any questions at all about online sex therapy – please reach out - we are happy to help support you to feel more comfortable to take the next step.