top of page

Why doesn't my partner desire me anymore?

Clients often attend couple counselling and sex therapy feeling lost as to why their partner doesn't desire them sexually in the same way that they did at the start of the relationship. This change often leaves clients feeling confused, rejected and undesirable.

It's really common for our sexual attraction toward our partners to change over the course of a lifetime. In fact it probably changes over the course of a day if you pay good attention to your feelings. It isn't the end of your sex life though. It could actually be the start of a better sex life!

In the first one to two years of a relationship our bodies are swarming with neurotransmitters designed to attract us to our mate and connect us both emotionally and physically. This 'honeymoon period' almost always ends for all couples, leaving sexual desire to be experienced very differently.

Many couples experience less spontaneous desire for sex - the 'I want to jump your bones' feeling dissipates, and is replaced by 'I guess sex could be fun'. This change from strong instant sexual charge to a 'meh' response can often leave a partner feeling dejected. But it's actually really rare to feel spontaneous desire for sex - and for that desire to occur at the same time for both partners.

'Meh, I guess sex could be fun' - could actually be the start of fabulous sex. Couples often wait for the 'moment to hit' for both parties to really, really want sex - and they wait forever, missing out on the great sex they could have had if they were ok with it starting a little less spontaneously.

Through sex therapy and couple counselling we can support you to understand changes in your sexual desire, and support you to improve your sex life.


bottom of page