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Libido problems?

Do you feel ready for sex, and they feel like going to sleep? Feeling like you’re not on the same page sexually? Sex drive differences? You’re not alone.


Let’s start by busting some myths about libido. It’s a myth that men want sex more than women and have ‘higher sex drives’. It’s a myth that if you don’t want sex all the time that you don’t have a libido. It’s a myth that if you don’t want sex, there’s a problem with you. It’s totally normal to not want to have sex all the time.


Many couples experience differences in libido. It’s actually really rare to want sex at the exact same time in the exact same way.


Couples will attend couple counselling and describe one partner as having a ‘high libido’ and the other as having a ‘low libido’. Clients say they have a high or low sex drive, often seeking to increase low sex drive. In sex therapy, we actually don’t use the terms high/low – these phrases are now redundant as we have gained a greater insight into sexual arousal and the different needs of individuals. One theory describes there being ten different types of libido!


Through sex therapy we can help you to unpack your libido differences, remove the shame of using labels like ‘low’ and ‘high’, and help you to better understand your own arousal needs, maximising the opportunities for sex. It is possible to have better sexual synchronicity.

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