Why Couples Stop Having Sex and How Therapy Can Help

lovetherapyaus
Dec 19, 2025
4 min read

Sex is often seen as a vital part of a healthy relationship, yet many couples find that their sexual connection fades over time. When intimacy declines, it can create distance and frustration between partners. Understanding why couples stop having sex is the first step toward addressing the issue. This post explores the main reasons behind this change and how sex therapy can help couples reconnect and rebuild their sexual relationship.

Common Reasons Couples Stop Having Sex

Several factors can contribute to a decline in sexual activity between partners. These reasons often overlap and can be physical, emotional, or situational.

Stress and Fatigue

Daily stress from work, family responsibilities, and life pressures can drain energy and reduce desire. When one or both partners feel exhausted, sex may feel like an added burden rather than a source of pleasure.

Long work hours and demanding jobs
Parenting young children or caring for family members
Financial worries or major life changes

Stress triggers the release of cortisol, a hormone that can suppress libido. Over time, this creates a cycle where stress reduces sex, and lack of intimacy increases stress.

Emotional Distance and Communication Breakdown

Sex is not just physical; it is deeply connected to emotional intimacy. When couples stop sharing feelings, concerns, or appreciation, they may feel disconnected. This emotional gap often leads to less sexual desire.

Unresolved conflicts or resentment
Lack of meaningful conversations
Feeling unappreciated or misunderstood

Without open communication, partners may misinterpret each other’s needs or withdraw to avoid conflict, further reducing intimacy.

Physical Health Issues

Health problems can directly affect sexual function and desire. These issues may be temporary or chronic and can impact one or both partners.

Hormonal changes such as menopause or low testosterone
Chronic illnesses like diabetes, heart disease, or arthritis
Side effects of medications, including antidepressants and blood pressure drugs

Physical pain or discomfort during sex can also cause avoidance, creating a negative association with intimacy.

Changes in Relationship Dynamics

As relationships evolve, priorities and roles shift. This natural progression can affect sexual frequency and satisfaction.

Long-term relationships may experience a decline in novelty and excitement
Parenthood often changes schedules and energy levels
Aging can bring changes in libido and physical ability

Sometimes, couples grow apart or develop different interests, which can reduce sexual attraction.

Psychological Factors

Mental health plays a significant role in sexual desire. Anxiety, depression, and past trauma can all interfere with a healthy sex life.

Depression often lowers libido and energy
Anxiety can cause performance worries or avoidance
Past sexual trauma may create fear or discomfort around intimacy

Addressing these psychological factors is crucial for restoring a fulfilling sexual relationship.

How Sex Therapy Can Help Couples Reconnect

Sex therapy offers a supportive space for couples to explore their sexual challenges and learn new ways to connect. It is a specialized form of counseling that focuses on sexual health and intimacy.

Creating a Safe Environment for Open Communication

Therapists help couples talk about their feelings, desires, and concerns without judgment. This openness can reduce misunderstandings and build emotional closeness.

Learning to express needs clearly
Understanding each other’s perspectives
Resolving conflicts that affect intimacy

Identifying and Addressing Underlying Issues

Sex therapy looks beyond the surface to find root causes of sexual difficulties. This may include physical health, emotional blocks, or relationship patterns.

Referrals to medical professionals if needed
Techniques to reduce anxiety or negative beliefs about sex
Guidance on improving relationship dynamics

Teaching Practical Skills and Techniques

Therapists provide tools to enhance intimacy and pleasure. These may include exercises to increase physical comfort, improve communication, or explore new ways to connect.

Sensate focus exercises to rebuild physical touch without pressure
Mindfulness and relaxation techniques to reduce performance anxiety
Strategies to increase desire and sexual satisfaction

Supporting Individual and Couple Growth

Sex therapy encourages personal awareness and growth, which benefits the relationship as a whole. Partners learn to support each other’s needs and build trust.

Developing empathy and patience
Building confidence and self-esteem
Strengthening emotional bonds

Real-Life Examples of Therapy Success

Consider a couple who stopped having sex after the birth of their first child. Exhaustion and new responsibilities left little time or energy for intimacy. Through therapy, they learned to communicate their needs and schedule time for connection. They practiced gentle touch exercises that helped them feel close again without pressure. Over several months, their sexual relationship gradually improved.

Another couple struggled with one partner’s anxiety about performance. Therapy helped uncover fears rooted in past experiences. The therapist guided them through relaxation and communication techniques, allowing the anxious partner to feel safe and supported. This led to renewed desire and enjoyment.

Taking the First Step Toward Rebuilding Intimacy

If you and your partner have noticed a decline in your sexual relationship, know that you are not alone. Many couples face similar challenges, and help is available. Sex therapy is a practical and effective way to understand what is happening and find solutions together.