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What happens in sex therapy?

We know that talking to a professional about your sexual desires and difficulties is often a daunting task. We want to you to feel confident going into sex therapy as couples counselling or as an individual, so here’s what to expect…

What is a sex therapist?

A sex therapist is a trained counsellor, psychotherapist or psychologist that specialises in sexual difficulties and pleasure. A sex therapy session is a ‘talk-based session’ much like a regular counselling session. A sex therapist will never ask you to perform anything sexually, or demonstrate anything sexual for you.

Sex therapy as couples counselling

During sex therapy as part of couples counselling, we will go through your relationship history, and the sexual history of the couple or group. We may ask questions like ‘what was the sex like at the start?’ or ‘when did things change for your sexually? The therapist won’t ask you anything specific, like how many people you’ve slept with or ask you to disclose anything that may make you feel uncomfortable in front of your partner – it is entirely up to you how much you share in a joint session. That said - there’s nothing that we haven’t heard so if you want to share anything about your sexual history or interests – we are ready to hear. If you’re not feeling comfortable doing that with your partner there, we recommend that you start your counselling with an individual session first so that you can speak with the therapist about your sexual history alone.

Sex therapy solo

In an individual in a sex therapy session, we will review your personal history, mental health history and sexual health history. We will ask about your experiences, challenges and goals. You are welcome to share as much as you want, we promise you won’t shock or bore us. We are a fully inclusive and sex positive practice, sex worker supportive and all variants of sexuality are welcome here.

Sexy homework

The therapist may give you and your partner some homework to explore things like your erogenous zones, or to observe your patterns of sexual interest over the course of a week. The therapist will also likely give you a resource or video to review on theories and frameworks within sex therapy, and you may even find the homework dare we say it, sexy!


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