Neurodiversity, ADHD, Autism & sensual play

Why sensual play for neurodiversity?

Sensual play is the gateway for pleasure. Pleasure is the gateway for sex. It makes sense to focus on sensual play as an avenue for connecting to our pleasure and sexual experiences. It's also a fabulous play space for clients experiencing neurodiversity to explore both individually or with their partner/s.

Many folk experiencing neurodiversity, also experience heightened responses to sensory stimuli. Heightened sensitivity can generate both a positive and negative experience. Being awakened to sensory experiences can enhance a sensual and sexual experience, adding extra intensity and flavour, but equally, it can distract, overstimulate and cause the "ick" feeling.

How can sensual play enhance your sex life?

The act of experiencing pleasure requires us to be present in our body and to be attuned to our sensory feedback. Sensory input, such as sound, touch, scent, taste, vision, can act as cues to get you out of your mind, turning you inward into your body arousal cues.

Sensory input can support you to be better connected to your body and better able to focus on arousal. Being in touch with your body cues (aka interoceptive awareness) when you experience neurodiversity can be incredibly challenging at first. You may need to train yourself to be able to proactively tune into your body and cultivate an awareness of your needs through trial, practice and lots of feedback.

What are some of the challenges?

Many people are distracted by intrusive or unwanted thoughts during sex that prohibit them from focussing on pleasurable sensations. Turning into your body senses grounds you in the here and now, supporting better sexual self-awareness and acknowledgement of real time partner feedback. 

What are some techniques for sensory play for couples/polycules?

Sensate focus is a well utilised tool in Sex Therapy, developed by Masters and Johnson, which encourages people to slow down sexually, focussing on giving and receiving physical touch. This tool is used to support clients to step into their body awareness from a pleasure giving and receiving perspective. 

What's an example of using sensory stimuli for sexual play?

Music may trigger a sexual memory, supporting someone to remember a sexy occasion or moment they felt sexually powerful. Most people have a favourite dance track that gets them in the mood to dance, or a favourite sad song that they play to cry to. Why not curate a sexy song list to experience pleasure with? Music may relax a person supporting them to focus on sound, rather than their mental to do list. Music may encourage synchronicity and movement to the beat, better coordination between partners. 

There are so many ways to explore sensual play - if you're keen to gain further insight into this, or neurodiversity and sex, one of our Sex Therapists can help.