Can mirror sex help your sex life?
Mirror sex is using a mirror as a sexual device to enhance your sexual experience, through either viewing your own body parts or your partners during a sexual encounter.
Many sex therapists, sex educators and somatic sex specialists recommend clients get familiar with their own body through using a mirror during sex with a partner/s or during self-play or masturbation. You can do this by holding a mirror while you masturbate, practicing self-play in front of a mirror, or by having sex in a room with mirrored walls.
What are the benefits of mirror sex?
A mirror gives our eyes greater access to unseen body parts, building our self-awareness and mind-body connection. Shame and stigmatisation around certain body parts, particularly genitals, is really common. Using a mirror to familiarise, normalise and connect to pleasure using these parts, can for some people be very therapeutic in healing their relationship to their body.
A mirror can support someone to gain greater awareness of their body parts and how they work. Using a mirror for self-play can support you to clearly explore what you like, and therefore more accurately describe it to a future partner. If we know our body more intimately, we may be able to find our pleasure more easily, and therefore communicate our needs more clearly.
How do you start exploring mirror sex?
First step is to be comfortable with yourself in front of a mirror. Take a few moments next time you’re naked to try to sit with yourself, to try to acknowledge your body and notice the parts.
Don’t judge yourself if it’s hard to look at yourself, or to be comfortable with yourself, just notice that and ask yourself why that’s the case.
Loving your reflection may be too far a reach, let’s start with just accepting and normalising our reflection, perhaps start with simply noting the function each body part performs.
Next step – can you find out what feels pleasurable on your body and tap into what sensations you feel for each part you see.
How do I incorporate this into my relationship?
Always set a basis of consent with your partner and discuss first exactly what you’re wanting to explore and what your boundaries are.
Start small with making out in front of a mirror clothed, then when you’re ready move to standing naked next to each other.
Then you’re ready to explore some new positions with mirror sex.
Debrief with your partner after sex to see what they liked or didn’t like about the experience and for any modifications you both would like for next time. Constant, kind communication is key.
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